goodbye I love you

There is a pain I feel from the depths of my soul.  A pain that you will never know because it is caused by the absence of you.

"Through love, all things are possible."  I have spent all of my 36 years believing this.  Today, I found out it isn't true.  I don't like this reality check...I always believed with ALL my heart that if you loved someone enough, anything and everything was possible.

This will change me.  No longer will I believe in "true love"...the biggest LIE ever told.  Quite simply, the idea that "love conquers all"...is little more than a myth.

Also, I am really fucking stupid.

I made the one mistake (repeatedly) that I always swore I never would.  I lied to make myself seem better than I was because I was insecure about practically everything.  I was ashamed of what I am and was afraid the woman of my dreams would not have me if she knew the truth....which I eventually told her anyhow.

The problem is that by the time I did, I had already broken her heart.

All i knew to do was to try my hardest to make things right and pray I didn't hurt her more than she loved me.  I was wrong.

The woman of my dreams...my angel...my love...is gone.

And I don't know what to do...